TAKING THE LEAP

THEY QUIT THEIR DAY JOBS TO FOLLOW THEIR DREAMS

[STATEWIDE Edition]

Hartford Courant - Hartford, Conn.

Author:

KATHLEEN MEGAN

Date:

Jan 12, 2006

Start Page:

D.1

Section:

LIFE

(Copyright The Hartford Courant 2006)
Imagine leaving your job as an insurance-company lawyer to make a movie starring your wife and her favorite sports team.
Or abandoning academia after 25 years to work with former Supreme Mary Wilson.
Or exiting a managerial job with a phone company to open a music cafe. Or leaving a job as a corporate executive assistant and opening a framing business and art gallery.
It's that time of year when we take a pulse on our lives. Are we happy yet? If not, what could make us happier? Losing weight? Getting more exercise? Earning more money? For many of us, it may be finding a new job.
Depending on whose research you use, 20 percent to 50 percent of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs. Careerbuilder.com says that 30 percent will look for new jobs in 2006, while 41 percent said they would leave their jobs by the end of 2007. In December 2004, about 9 percent said they would leave their jobs to start their own businesses, while 10 percent said they were changing careers altogether.
More people than you might think dream of leaving a sensible -- but not particularly rewarding -- job to follow a dream.
Rob Bennett of Washington, D.C., interviewed hundreds of middle- class workers for his book "Passion Saving: The Path to Plentiful Free Time and Soul-Satisfying Work." He writes in an e-mail, "I sometimes get the feeling that there is no one today who does not carry around in the back of his or her head at least one `What if I tried?' scenario for dramatic career change."
The realities of layoffs, downsizing and outsourcing in American business life have made these possibilities seem less far-fetched. Here are the tales of some people who chose to leave seemingly sensible jobs -- at least for the time-being -- to pursue dreams.
How 'Bout Them Red Sox?
Ges Selmont and his wife, Monika Lahiri, embarked on a gamble a couple of years ago. Both lawyers at a Hartford insurance company, they were on their way home from the Bronx after Aaron Boone's home run eliminated their beloved Red Sox from the playoffs in 2003. They stopped and asked some of New York's finest for directions. When the police realized they were Sox fans, they jokingly misdirected them.
The scene seemed like a good beginning for a movie. It was all the inspiration needed for Selmont, a film major in college and improvisational actor before becoming a lawyer. The couple decided to buy season tickets for 2004 with the plan that Selmont would film the year through the eyes of his wife, a lifelong, passionate and expressive Sox fan.
He thought of it as an art film: a film about baseball without any actual baseball in it -- just quirky commentary from Lahiri and others, peppered with scenes of New England and interviews with baseball greats when they could get them.
It was a hobby (albeit a costly and strenuous one), with the requirement that no matter how late the night in Boston, they would need to be at their desks in Hartford by 8 a.m.
But it soon became apparent that this wasn't just any season. When the Sox won the World Series, Lahiri said, it was clear they had a potentially commercial film, but to get it on the market in a timely way, Selmont would have to leave his day job.
With two small children (Luke is now almost 4, and Nate is 2) and with their Middle Haddam home in the midst of renovation, the decision to eliminate a reliable income even for a few months was not an easy one.
"Once we started down the road, there came a point in time when [we] had to say, `We are willing to lose a lot,' and once you get past that point, you had to finish," said Lahiri. "We couldn't afford for the movie just to be kind of left over there -- something to show people at cocktail parties -- because there was just too much invested, and the only way to get it done was for [Selmont] to do it."
So Selmont quit his day job in November 2004, thinking he'd be done with the film by January. Not so, but by March, he had something to show and contacted the New England Sports Network. NESN agreed to work with him, invited him to use its library of game footage and eventually broadcast the finished product -- "Just Wait 'til This Year" -- many times in the fall. About five weeks ago, the DVD hit the market. Just when Selmont thought he might again look for work as a lawyer, NESN asked him to develop and shoot a pilot for a new show called "Married to the Sox." It's tentatively scheduled for next season.
As Selmont thinks about the past two years, he admits his own amazement. "This isn't done, you know?" he said. "You don't work at an insurance company and make a movie on the side starring your wife and then sell it to TV and have it released on DVD.'
"You know, I would never advise anyone to do what we did," said Selmont. "It's like, don't do what we did. Don't quit your day job. Don't think you're going to make a movie and get it onto TV and get it distributed. ...
"But that being said: It all happened. ... It all turned out perfectly. There are posters in video stores. You can go over to the Cromwell Stop & Shop and pick up a copy of our movie."
Although they are happy about their success, the financial stress continues. When one spouse leaves the ordinary working world, the pressure on the supporting spouse increases. The couple has yet to recover their investment in the film.
"It's a source of stress, a source of tension," said Lahiri."I don't particularly like that ... but I just believe that the tables are going to turn at some point."
Selmont isn't sure whether he will stay in entertainment. As for now, he sees his journey as a continuous one in which his skills complement each other. Certainly, he uses his legal background every day as he works on his new television show.
"I'm negotiating with artists for a theme song," he said, "negotiating with Major League Baseball and with sponsors. ... I don't feel like I've changed directions. I feel like I've been following my path all the way through."
In The Name Of Love
Tom Ingrassia had been in academia for 25 years, most recently as an assistant dean at Clark University's business school in Worcester, when he caught the glimmer of a dream.
He had been fascinated by Motown music since he was a child, and in the early '70s, he had worked as a freelance writer for a music magazine. He had interviewed the Supremes and struck up a friendship with Mary Wilson. Over the years, they remained in touch, and occasionally he would do volunteer research for her.
Then five years ago, Wilson was in the Boston area performing in a musical. They met again and she mentioned that she wanted to start a merchandising project, but she didn't have the time to do the research. She asked him if he'd be interested in handling the project.
"That was like the brass ring for me," he said. He consulted with his wife, who had a secure job with benefits, and decided to take the risk. The next day, he went into the university and told them, "Sorry guys, I've got a better gig.'
"I knew from the start, it could all collapse tomorrow," said Ingrassia. "That was probably my biggest fear going into this. There are no guarantees. You have to be aware of this when you are making a transition like this." Eventually the job led to other engagements. He now has eight clients, including Arlene Smith who was the original lead singer for the Chantels; Carl Gardner of the Coasters; Barbara Alston, the original lead singer The Crystals; and the Velvelettes. His responsibilities range from management to merchandising to assisting with an autobiography.
Although he's still not making as much money, Ingrassia's business is thriving.
"I'm hearing from a lot of former colleagues in the academic world saying, `How did you do that? I don't know that I could take that kind of risk. I've always wanted to do something like that, but I'm too afraid.'"
So now he doubles as a motivational speaker, providing practical advice and encouragement to people who want to pursue a dream career.
"It takes a lot of courage and a lot of risk to make a move like this," said Ingrassia. "You have to know what your risk aversion factor is and you have to be comfortable with the possibility that you might not succeed and what that might mean. But if you don't at least try, you'll always have regrets."
Buyout Payoff
John Quarticelli of Hampton had been working for Verizon for more than 20 years, when he found himself completely disgusted with the company.
He managed 25 to 30 people and was responsible for the internal computer maintenance and trouble shooting. While in the past it seemed that working for a large company meant security, Quarticelli said, it was clear to him "that anything could happen at any moment and for any reason. It was not exactly tied into your job performance. ... Looking at my future, I could see that in six months they could tell me I don't have a job."
Two years ago, when the company offered a buyout package to managers, he decided to take it. It wasn't a massive of amount of money, said Quarticelli, but it was enough to do something he had always wanted to do. He purchased a former pizza restaurant and bar in Ashford on Route 44 with idea of turning it into a music cafe.
A lifelong musician, Quarticelli -- who plays keyboards -- liked the idea of a musical venue that wouldn't be a dance club or a bar but would offer a comfortable, sophisticated setting in which guests could listen to music and enjoy a meal.
The project has taken far longer than he expected. The cafe, which will be called Quartet 44, is still under renovation, and Quarticelli has been negotiating with various musical groups.
He hopes to put together programs with music ranging from jazz to classical to avant garde. "I'm looking to do the kind of thing that nobody else is doing. I'm not looking to do cover bands."
He wants song writers, composers, original music. Meanwhile, he's working a menu that includes international lines of beers and aperitifs -- no hard mixed drinks -- with an eclectic menu.
"It's been very difficult, pretty stressful, a lot of strain on everything: my life, my marriage. It's been a tough haul, but rewarding because every time you achieve another goal you move move closer to the final goal. But it's tough. I know why a lot of people fail."
Despite the difficulty, he's glad he left Verizon.
"Even with all the stress of this job, I know the stress is for me. It's notfor some big corporation that doesn't [care] about me. If I succeed, fantastic. If I fail, it will be because I tried but I couldn't do it -- not because someone said we have to save $600,000 and you're out of here."
Too Young To Retire
When a buyout was offered at Northeast Utilities five years ago, Sheri Sochor felt too young to retire. She was in her late 40s and had been working as an executive assistant at the company for 22 years.
However, the commute from her home in Putnam to the offices in Berlin was 90 minutes each way on a good day.
She didn't know quite what she would pursue, but with the encouragement of her husband, she decided to take it. Within six weeks of her departure, she heard that the owner of a framing shop in Putnam was putting his businesses up for sale. Sochor had always taken photographs and matted her own work, so she decided to go for it.
That was five years ago, and she has since expanded the framing shop to include a gallery where local artists display their work.
Though she now often works seven days a week, Sochor said, there's no comparison in the level of fulfillment she feels at her new job.
"I did it [Northeast Utilities] for 22 years, so it couldn't have been that bad," said Sochor, but to me it's a personality thing. I'm an artist, and that doesn't necessarily go in a corporate environment.
"I don't even know how to say it, but here I can laugh when I want to. I can talk to people. Every piece of artwork that comes in has a story and I love that part. I really have a soft spot for local artists and up and coming artists."
One customer not long ago had a huge piece of art she needed framed. She was going to be traveling with it to upstate New York. After exploring various options, Sochor suggested that she have it framed when she arrived in New York, but the woman refused.
"I really want you to do it," she said.
"You don't get that in the corporate world," said Sochor. "You just do your job and go home."

 Abstract (Document Summary)

Ges Selmont and his wife, Monika Lahiri, embarked on a gamble a couple of years ago. Both lawyers at a Hartford insurance company, they were on their way home from the Bronx after Aaron Boone's home run eliminated their beloved Red Sox from the playoffs in 2003. They stopped and asked some of New York's finest for directions. When the police realized they were Sox fans, they jokingly misdirected them.
So [Selmont] quit his day job in November 2004, thinking he'd be done with the film by January. Not so, but by March, he had something to show and contacted the New England Sports Network. NESN agreed to work with him, invited him to use its library of game footage and eventually broadcast the finished product -- "Just Wait 'til This Year" -- many times in the fall. About five weeks ago, the DVD hit the market. Just when Selmont thought he might again look for work as a lawyer, NESN asked him to develop and shoot a pilot for a new show called "Married to the Sox." It's tentatively scheduled for next season.
PHOTO 1: COLOR, CLOE POISSON / HARTFORD COURANT PHOTO 2: COLOR, SHANA SURECK / HARTFORD COURANT; PHOTO 1: LAWYERS Ges Selmont and his wife, Monika Lahiri, made a film about the 2004 Boston Red Sox that is now out on DVD. PHOTO 2: [Sheri Sochor] of East Putnam traded corporate life and a 3- hour commute for running a frame shop.